CRREYNOLDS.com

first snow

it snowed today. i sat on my ass in my dining room hunched over my torts outline, studying. this study period has been difficult for me. and not just the academic part. i keep finding myself getting so wound up and nervous all the time. all course work aside, i cant seem to stop heaping pressure on myself. there is always this subtle idea somewhere in the back of my awareness insisting i must do well. not that i dont want to do well, but i dont think my beating myself up with it is helping at all. not helping me, personally. not helping me really focus on learning all this shit.

i remember going through this my first semester in grad school: freaking out because i didnt know what i was doing and being generally uncomfortable not knowing. i fight feeling unsure and vulnerable so much.